The Warrior's Journey is not a child's game - not something to be embarked upon lightly.
Even in the best of times it is staggering how quickly a "dust cloud" of doubt, disappointment, abandonment and confusion can rise up and envelope our horizon in a suffocating haze. In but a moment the sunlight that seemed it would never fade can suddenly feel years away...like something from a beautiful dream that was never quite as real as the present cloud.
In those times we find our entire outlook on our lives redefined along the lines of numerous subtle agreements. We don't speak them.
We wouldn't admit to them to even our closest friends, because they attach themselves to our hearts at a level lower than conscious thought, and most of the time we do not even know they are there.
Sure, we know that we are currently thinking something different about God than we were a month ago, or five years ago -- but it almost never enters our minds to think that the issue might be that we have made an agreement with a lie. No; we're just calling it like we see it. Don't you dare turn this back on me, we shake our fist to the Heavens, the problem here isn't with me! If I've got some serious doubts about some Scriptural promises, it's only because You haven't been coming through! I'm only responding to the reality of the situation I'm in here!"
It hardly seems fair. Trust me - we know. God's goodness, His heart towards us, His involvement in our small little affairs, His concern for our ultimate joy...most days the bulk of the evidence seems to fall against such wildly happy hopes that this is the fabric from which the Universe has been woven. And then to be told that our lack of faith and trust is only increasing the desperation of our situation seems...well, a little unfair...and that's putting it politely.
So what are we to do?
"We're not indestructible baby better get that straight
I think it's unbelievable how you give into the hands of fate
Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die
I'm not asking for another chance, I just wanna know why?
There's no easy way out, there's no shortcut home
There's no easy way out giving in can't be wrong."
Robert Tepper, "No Easy Way Out"
A great song...with a terrible conclusion. Despite admitting that there really is no "easy way out" from underneath certain dust clouds, and certainly not formulaic "short-cut home" to Life and joy and restoration of spirit, the one thing that our Journey along the Warrior's Path has taught us that can be of help to you in your own Journey it is this:
Giving in is ALWAYS wrong.
There can be no agreements with the dust cloud, no agreements with the "walls that hold you inside." You were meant to tear down that wall; you were meant to reach out and touch the Flame; you were meant to feel the sunlight on your face again. And the process of getting there begins with the breaking and repenting of all the subtle little agreements that have clamped onto our hearts like barnacles.
And that is...so much easier said than done.
There's a reason this Road is called The Warrior's Path.
(In case you've ever wondered...)